the Miseducation of a Minion

New minion in my lab this semester.

Standard first question is, what type of music do you like? This is to pull up pandora and have some music so that lab work isn't so terrible. Her reply was, "Soul Music."

I thought "Great! We can listen to The Reverand Al Green or Otis Redding or Bill Withers or Teddy Pendergrass...." This was not to be.


People, for the record, Beyonce isn't soul. She is a lot of things to this generation. A soul singer she is not. I wanted to cry when the new minion said, "You know new soul like Beyonce."

I asked if there was anything else and she said no.

I immediately put down the pipette and dialed up some Al Green to educate this poor minion. Nothing will add some soul to your life like The Reverand.

I didn't get all technical and take her to Stax (Soulsville USA) with some Otis, Booker T, Issac Hayes or the like. I just wanted her to have something other than Beyonce. Nothing against her yonce-ness but come on.

Yes we did get lab work done as we progressed from Stevie Wonder,  Sam and Dave, and the walrus of love (Barry White) to their contemporaries. Joss Stone maybe? Erykah Badu and Jill Scott definitely. I hate to mention it but the girl had never heard the Miseducation of Lauren Hill even in parts.

By the end of our time together she was walking out with a better understanding of DNA replication and extraction while humming "you better call tyrone." A teachers work is never done.

As an aside if she goes and makes a playlist of Earth Wind and Fire's "Love Holiday" and Teddy's "Turn out the lights" and spontaniously blows up or has 8 boyfriends, I claim no responsibility.