Athletic Prowess

Team Bus!

first few tests of the boys extra-cirriculars have now passed. This is the first time since taking ownership of the boys that they have been able to do sports. I am the official team bus driver and our team bus is the new hotness.


Mr. Fabulous has been in training for weeks now to be the next world famous male gymnast. Who is the current world famous male gymnast you ask? Who knows. All I know is that Mr. Fabulous agreed to some activity and we are going to pursue it. He is best suited to Rugby, Lacrosse, or other pugalistic events but insisted that he not have to play a team sport. Lets just assume this is out of modesty and not wanting to make everyone else look bad. 

other than the smoking this could totally be grown up
Mr. Fabulous. 

Now I have no idea how anything works at a gymnastics gym. I sit and read for an hour once a week while he goes from apparatus to apparatus learning the basics. He had his first evaluation last wednesday however and was unusually tempered in his expectations. He told me afterwards that he got high fives after every thing he did other than headstands. I am proud of him for trying and making an effort. 

Soccer has been going well enough because well we haven't had to play any games. That began last Friday. Now, we play in a league that is for "recreation" and I take this to mean that everyone gets about equal playing time and gets to play the position they want. No parents get mad and the kids go home exhausted and everyone is happy. I was apparently very very wrong. Friday we were to play a team from a rival neighborhood which is one rung higher on the Birmingham Neighborhood Snottiness Index (BNSI for those playing at home). I show up on Bear Bryant (rest his alcoholic soul), which is to say at least 15 minutes early. I was in fact nearly 30 minutes early for a rec league game. This might as well in my mind been a week early.

Their team warming up

I roll up on the field and there is the other team. I am going to try and not exaggerate. Their matching bags were all lined up, their uniforms were gleaming and I believe all had been starched and pressed. The coach had a matching outfit. They were doing organized team drills without prompting from their coach that had been rehearsed. There are Broadway shows that are less rehearsed than these guys bag placement and warm ups. This was impressive. Plus all of this kit was black, a very impressive color.  I will give it to them. That was half of the show after intermission I look to the opposite sideline and each of the Hitler Youth's parents are lined up with such precision it would take a German to appreciate.

Me: Will Ferrell 2Pop: Ditka coaching up the team.
Note to self - Rewatch Kicking and Screaming

A glance at my bench and you would see two boys in different uniforms facing the wrong way. Not a good sign. This was a sign of things to come. My team did well (once they trickled into the field. the last player got to the game at half time). Played defense well and kept the score to 3-0 until the last 3 minutes. I was proud of them. The parents even eventually sat on the right side of the field.

Now I know you are wondering about the last three minutes. My team was tired. Some of them still don't know which way to face on the field or which goal is ours when we are playing. The game was over at 5-0. Everyone had fun and no one was too upset. Plus there were granola bars and PowerAde for everyone at the end. I wish at the end of awful days at work there was another professors mother outside with a cooler full of cocktails and appetizers telling all of us as we came out of the building, "Good Game."