The Supermodel Does Yoga

I should write a short story about the things I hear from The Supermodel about her yoga class that she and the Ging go to. The heavy breathing teacher, the positions that can only be made up, and today a wardrobe malfunction...

I hear a lot about the heavy breathing

Don't get your hopes up.

I was looking for Nelly "getting' hot in here'" lyrics but found this
Please let Netflix have it on watch instantly

The text I got was "I ripped a pair of jeans putting them on after yoga." Now, my wife doesn't buy pants in aspirational sizes, meaning she wasn't lying down and puffing and wheezing trying to squeeze into some much smaller pre-teens pants. She was  putting on freshly laundered pants and apparently felt like bustin' loose. She blames it on how flexible she is and how unyielding the denim was.

Now just imagine Cool James if they were freshly washed!

Luckily she had a second pair for reasons I don't completely understand. She apparently is really enjoying yoga in general to the point that if I or any member of my family causes her to be late to or miss her class we suffer severe repercussions. I have heard through unnamed sources that her coworkers and boss suffer the same fate if they try to schedule meetings during the same time.

What does all this mean? It means she wants to step it up. Rhymes with Eva invited her to do hot yoga at the Christmas Party. I was hoping that it was limited to women who are as attractive as my wife and there was a viewing gallery. That doesn't sound lecherous. Alas it is yoga in a room that is 1000 degrees. Yeah, she will love that *shaking me head.  But, at least shorts are harder to rip.

I prefer to think of it as I am a ____ and my wife is a _____