Big Dino vs. Big Cat

So this past weekend AARP and Mr. Fabulous wanted some alone time with the Supermodel and I. After attending my first 3 year old birthday party in the morning (wow) we dropped off lil dino and The Shadow at P-Daddy and MiMi's house.

More or less but with no hats or suits and way more
parents standing around wishing there was an open bar at these things

Now, the boys had been discussing for a week what to do with our afternoon. Ice skating was brought up but vetoed as the last time we went AARP clocked his head on the ice and well I am a bit accident prone as well (foreshadowing). Bowling was out and so roller skating was decided upon. I like roller skating and remember going to Looney's, our local skating arena(?), as a child.

AARP last ice skating trip but with a slightly less flamboyant costume. Slightly

We paid our money and put on skates. I will say that AARP got roller blades by accident. He went to the counter and told them his size and then spaced out. They handed him roller blades and he sat down confused. To his credit, he went with it and learned how. This is the same kid who refers to zoning out as being a space zebra. Recently he said a song reminded him of a neon unicorn or maybe horse. For the life of me I can't remember the song. I promise he isn't on the drugs.

a majestic creature. i just wish i could remember the song

Get excited readers, the winter dance is coming.
Date number 2, this time with slow dancing

I digress. We all get laced up and skate. I love my family. For the life of me I don't know how The Supermodel can be so smoking hot all the time even when skating? What the what?! It is not even fair. I often refer to my level of coordination as being similar to a giraffe on roller skates. This was manifested only I am bipedal. Two less points of contact with the earth only makes it worse. Can any of you playing at home guess what happened next?

Thank you google image search for never letting me down.
Also, do you see his sad eyes. He knows what is coming.

Thats right, about an hour in I ate it. Hard. Yard Sale... glasses went one way, the top half of me went the other, and the bottom half I am not real sure of. To my credit I braces myself with my arms and prevented cracking my skull on the unnaturally slippery floor. Some sweet boy went and got my glasses for me. Now, I am freakishly tall like a giraffe so the fall was from a significant height. Terminal Velocity or the top speed a human can fall at is 120 miles per hour. From the altitude I live at, I am pretty sure I was close to falling that quickly.

do you know what all this math adds up to?
Sure you do, I am a clumsy and bloody idiot and not in the British sense

The results of falling from that height onto ones elbow are a torn shirt and an incision. I liken it to my elbow being a grape and The Shadow with her sizable feet, stomping on it to watch it pop. It was deep and on the outside of my elbow. There is also a bruise on my knee but the cut was the subject of much discussion afterwards. The Ging got in touch with her beau the future doctor doctor. Stitches were ruled out because of the location and because I am male. The Y chromosome leads to things like Y would I need stitches and Y wouldn't a overly clumsy man get on roller skates.

The last time I went to the doctor not unconscious
or driven by The Supermodel and dropped off under strict orders

Long story longer, I am now splinted up so I can't bend my right, read: dominant, arm and am learning to live much like Big Dino. He is 93 and I am a broken giraffe. We look very similar when trying to put on shoes. Also, brushing your teeth left handed not easy. Also, soup. Good news is that Nurse Ratched/Kathy Bates from Misery is my wife. I am afraid of her when she gets like this.

You WILL stay in bed and let me take care of you!
I love you!