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Another glorious weekend in paradise. Where to begin. Friday evening we went to dub dub and local-TV-celebrity's house for dinner as a running club. Children disappeared to the basement and we had a glorious meal and just hung out. Baby was good and went right to sleep and accommodated our adult evening out. The p-chemist brought a delicious salad after he got done playing in traffic. Which reminded me how much i missed salads this summer. Why didn't I eat more of them? Dub dub cooked her amazing wide pasta  and red sauce with buttery garlicky bread. I am sure there is some fancy technical term but to me it was nom nom nom. Baby stay puft gets her omnomnomivore status from me.

The dinner was to preclude another attempt at running in an athletic styled event. I was immediately asked if I had signed up and was ready to go to which I responded, "I don't sign myself up for races." I see no need to volunteer myself for such events. If anyone chooses to get me signed up I would participate. This is true for all of you out there in internetlandia. Have a race in Turkey you want me to run? Can you get me there? Then I would be happy to attend. (assuming there will be time for snacks) I had to register the next day, myself. Dessert was the supermodels first attempt at creme brule and my second time to use my propane plumbing torch. It was delicious. So delicious in fact that local-TV-celebrity suggested that we eat the children's portion. We did. Do I feel bad? Nope.

Not me. 

Crack of 6:30 on Saturday I am at the Boutwell Auditorium. The Vulcan Run is a 10K through downtown Birmingham. Race was to start at 8 and the only snacks in the vicinity were at the Greyhound Station. I did not partake. This race went about like the last. I finished after the person who won. My time was faster than I expected and I didn't get sick. So, it was a win. I LOVED the course and would do it again if signed up for it. I then met the supermodel and her 3 minions/spawn at Sam Super Samwhiches (not a typo) for breakfast samwhiches and relaxing in downtown Homewood. I met her there because she already had packed the appropriate humans in the car and had driven to cheer for me. She assumed that I would run 30 minute miles I guess. Such a lack of faith. Then, we rush home, shower, dress, and get to the last game of my soccer coaching tenure.

It went about like all the others but with injuries. My best defender shows up late then trips over his own feet, lands on his head and gives himself a concussion. Way to be a team player. He was fine. After this run home to meet 2Pop and Biggie grandmother. The supermodel, biggie, stay puft and myself went antiquing all over and had a really good time. Wish I had remembered the stroller as the baby has become quite a lot to carry. Boys went with 2Pop and ate Krispy Kreme, Milo's, and made sandcastles on the beach volleyball court at the park. Picked up boys and dropped off the matriarch formerly known as Biggie at her house and make it home just in time to watch the Alabama-LSU Game of the Year Honey I Shrunk the Kids.

Still not me. 

I remember this movie with great fondness for two reasons. Sleeping in a LEGO and eating the worlds largest oatmeal creme pie. After re-watching it, it is still a great movie but I still want the same two things. Texted with my farmer girl from Noonanza during the movie about how much fun it would be to be shrunk. I feel like my whole life has been spent preparing for the horrible moment in movies that will never happen to me. I will never survive a plane crash on a deserted island, I will never be shrunk by my father,  and I won't be required to survive a zombie apocalypse (which may be a good thing. I scare easily).

Why would I turn the
valve all the way off?

Sunday was spent in hunter-gatherer mode. Re-stocking the kitchen for the hoard and helping the boys rake leaves. Other than being embarrassed at fantasy football again (Naming the team "Sandusky's Tickle Monsters" might have jinxed me) all was well until the supermodel, thinking that I was faking the exhaustion from the day before decided to make like interesting. I left the room for one minute and she called upon her freakish supermodel strength and broke the handle off the kitchen sink. I almost cried. I knew what needed to be done. Super (mediocre) handyman dad would have to fix said handle. As I took it apart water began gushing out of the top and soaking the kitchen. Got that valve completely closed and find part to be replaced. No washing dishes in the bathtub for us! Take Wilson (boy 1) for moral support and go to the super convenient hardware store to be told bluntly that they didn't have and would never have what I needed to fix the sink. I mean guy walks up and looks at what I have in my hand and says, "we don't have it." He then just turned and walked away. Wilson then says he wants to go home. I then drop him off at the house and head to inconvenient Hardware Store #2. Meet 2Pop there who seemed to want to just get out of the house. I find the part and go home and fix it. No fanfare. No trumpets. No confetti. This is what happens when you can do things. People expect it.

That's a centerfold I can get behind

I am now exhausted, hungry, slightly wet, etc. etc. The supermodel offers my weakness, take out Chinese food in the little boxes. She offers to go get it even. Swoon. She is the greatest woman in the world. Women take note, when your current boy-toy is at his weakest offer him what he desires most. In my case, its food. She has me for life for that small token of "I don't mind getting out to get it." I get all excited and fold clothes and get all the other chores done. Boys are sent to bed. Baby is checked on as she has been asleep for hours. Wife calls....

"That's totally what I saw!
I googled it!"

Apparently on our street, in an unkempt area, the supermodel with brutish strength has now become wildlife expert as she has spotted a coyote. I had heard tell of this being true in our very urban/suburban area. I scoffed then and I scoffed at my wife. Apparently she was wearing her glasses and she googled it and that is "totally" what she saw. I would have argued or asked for more details when she came back but she had egg rolls. In the game broken sink/coyote/egg rolls. Sink wins but egg rolls beat coyote.

She and I retired to the basement and watched *insert awful action movie here* and I ate too much. There was snuggling and it was a glorious weekend.