Summer of Fun!

To quote the great Alice Cooper, School is out for summer. My summer class got canceled due to low enrollment. (If I can't tempt students with 15$ worth of textbooks and 90% field trips then the class just wasn't meant to make.) So, we get to the point of the school year where I am the only person in the office on my floor and fall into a bit of a funk. Don't get me wrong, I love the academic calendar. It gives a certain rhythm to things. Problem is that the rhythm is slow right now.

Not quite this bad. Not quite.

Boys end school on Thursday and I begin the summer of minivan. I will be chasing my own tail this summer trying to hustle up as much scratch as I can. My dear sweet volvo is dying. I haven't decided to shoot it yet but it has developed a limp. It has to go in the shop soon so I hopefully will be commuting by bike. My muffin tops have missed an excuse to visit with my bike. It may be time to shed my winter weight and get beach ready. Beach ready to me means that I have whiskey and good books to read but apparently winter weight is not welcome at the beach. Soooo time to look for a bike trailer to borrow to get Stay Puft to the school or require that the supermodel be responsible for her (so I am searching the craigslist for a bike trailer)

forget a bike trailer! I want a sidecar! what the what?!

Also, this is a great time to dream about house projects. Book cases are soon but they are boring to plan. I am planning a garage renovation. Don't do this. Avoid this. There is a future
pintrest board all about dreams. In about 18 years or so, it will become a reality. Mark my words!

Also...

In addition, Mother's are the best! I would be nowhere without the mother's in my life (even if they do share drink choices with John Wayne). So, thank you Biggie. Thank you grandmother. Thank you mothers in my life who have passed away. All of you have had a huge influence on who I am today. Grandmother Hataway taught me to cook without fear and that perfectly good people prefer to sleep in. My father's grandmother who I never met taught me, through proxy, that there is never a wrong time for biscuits. Grandmother Ceil taught me that hard work never hurt anyone and being subtle will get you nowhere. Her stepmother, Bessie, taught me about dumplings and helped to give me an appreciation for Thanksgiving. My  mother's side of the family taught me reverence for Thanksgiving. Bessie's kitchen table is now my kitchen table and we eat off of her everyday dishes for special occasions at The Home®. 

My mother... my mother is me and I am my mother. We have very similar strengths and very similar weaknesses and she has taught me how to deal with both. She is a picture of grace and neurosis. The woman can smell things that happened weeks ago. Her garden... it is freakish and beautiful and everything is twice the size it is in other gardens. She strives for perfection and expects you to do the same. She is the matriarch and the queen. I would do anything she asked and I made her a promise early on that when I grew up I would still come over for Sunday lunch. I am not there every time but I get there at least once a month. I am a momma's boy and that is okay with me.

Finally my wife. She deals with me and the boys. We are a mess and she keeps us put together. She is not my mother so I will wait and let her children blog about her someday but, she should know that she is a great mom.

To celebrate my mothers this past weekend we ate. The boys cooked the supermodel pancakes and made her coffee. That afternoon we went to 2Pop's house. We ate ribs. We ate potato salad. We ate baked beans. And we ate pound cake.

In summary, my female role models have all been amazing  and you should be jealous.

The Home®

The world's sexiest supermodel suggested that we start referring to our house and its occupants as The Home®. The home for what you might ask? Well depends on the day mostly. 2Pop and Biggie, my parentals, tried to relay the story of how they met to the Russian and I on Mother's Day. Both had graduated from college. My father a bit rowdy and my mother at an all girls college. They met working at a home for disturbed children. This is all the info I have ever gotten out of them. Apparently my father asked her out on a date and mother stayed in Montgomery for the weekend. I do not know where she would have been otherwise as details are slim. What was revealed is that they went out and went to the Holiday Inn Lounge. I am not judging as apparently this was the norm. What I am judging is that my mother told me that she "drank my father under the table." Soak that up. She sat down and ordered a Crown Royale (pronounced Roy-Al)on the rocks and he ordered a Tom Collins. Now many of my readers have never had or heard of a Tom Collins. It has been replaced by the much more popular Big Cat. I will try to graphically represent the difference between the two drinks.

Whiskey Neat
John "The Duke" Wayne

Tom Collins
Nathan "The Birdcage" Lane

If you have not seen The Birdcage recently, fix that. Also any John Wayne cowboy movie. This will help you understand how I view the disparity in their drink choices. I am not disparaging my father. I also am not saying that I am not proud of my mother. It worked out in the end and they are living happily ever after. The supermodel and I need to work on our story. Working with disturbed children leading to drinks at the Holiday Inn followed by mother having to drive him home. That is a story that we should all be jealous of.
Back to The Home®, I like this title and so I will be continuing to use it. Problems at The Home® this week include both cars being in the shop and one getting fixed, Stay Puft's keepers deciding to close up shop leaving us without a Godzilla Care Facility for the fall, and everyone trying to finish school. Guess which one has me up nights worried about the residents of The Home®. We should not worry about what we cannot change but I do. Its genetic. It will all work out and we will be fine but I will tell you this, I need more John Wayne in my life these days.

Mix Tape Monday

I am the great dane with the pipe. 

So, long time no see. How have you been? Me you ask? It has been glorious around Casa de Big Cat. We had a friend from my work over with her husband and kids and then this past Saturday Ginger Lauren (so as not to be confused with Stuncapher Lauren who I also adore) came over for dinner and a game of cards. 2Pop my father came and took the boys to the new baseball stadium to watch a game and eat all of his retirement savings in the form of peanuts and crackerjacks apparently. I will get to this stadium before summer is over. Parties interested in joining me and the fam please speak up. Anyway Ginger Lauren... I will say this about the Ginger Lauren, she is as ruthless as she is adorable. We played phase ten and drank wine and she kicked my butt. I can admit it. I am not happy and thus will have to go buy more wine and cook dinner again and try the whole evening over. I am getting a redo. I demand a redo. This time I am inviting more people (Andringa I am looking at you) and will win. If not I will buy more wine and well you get the picture. I don't admit defeat!

 Also, Wilson and Fabulous are doing testing this week. Standardized testing is the worst. I remember it being like 3 days and schools basically shut down. The boys have almost two weeks of testing. What the what. Poor kids will not be left behind.

Now why I started writing today:

Don't show these to college
students. They have no idea
what to do with them. 

Mix tapes. I feel like it is a lost art. When was the last time you traded mix tapes with someone? Too long I tell you. When was the last time you used a tape? I have a tape deck in my car. My only tape is a green cassette of ill communication. My generation moved to CDs and the last of physical media for music. We are trying to revive vinyl but honestly digital is where we are. The problem with iTunes is there is no "share your mix tape" function.

Why did these ever go away?
Because you stopped making them!

Hear ye! Hear ye! I am bringing it back! I will throw this offer out, you make a mix tape of your current favorite music and get it to me and I will get a copy of mine to you. How do we find new music these days? the internet!? Pshaah! Together I say! get me your mix tape. I have recently completed a doozy. It is Finals week here next week which signals summer. Time for music. Road Trip Music! Beach Music! Porch Sitting Music! Bring it back! (I fully expect you to disappoint me and not participate and that makes me sad. Do you want me to be sad? Do you want El Fox to be sad?)

you know you wanna!

Summary: Summer ya! Testing Boo. Ginger "card shark" Lauren is going down. Get me some new music and you will get some yourself!