Well Hello There

So, It has been a few minutes since I updated this. Most of my readership knows the current goings on in The Home based on the Russian Supermodel and her social media empire. Our lives only get more complicated as the years stack up. All of these are good things with a few notable exceptions such as the plague that has fallen upon our home. A brief list of my current concerns:

The little dinosaur is quickly accepting his new role as toddler male and leaving destruction in his wake while screaming and being the baby.

Thing is, it is t-rex vs. baby vs dog

The fox is perfect in every way and is obviously my favorite. In the last couple days her hobbies have included walking up to adult strangers and striking up conversations and running 103 degree fevers. 

Mr. Fabulous has become the anchor man in his school newscast. Thats just what he needed to keep the awesome at bay. A stage and a megaphone. 

A parable to explain my point. At middle school these days, the cool thing to do is take a bottled beverage that is 3/4s empty and try to flip it and have it land standing up 8 kajillion times in a row. Mr. Fabulous has dedicated his energy and passion to achieving olympic greatness in this event. Last week, the principal approached the child and asked him to create a PSA on the ills of bottle flipping. I explain that if he makes the PSA and continues to flip bottles, it makes him a bit of a hypocrite. The response: "Only if I flip in school."

Oh me? I'm never wrong. 

The elder, wilson, is a member of the 400+ strong marching band and is in High School. I am not old enough or wise enough to have a high schooler. We were warned about this band thing 5 years ago by everyone. They will be in the band they said. Band was not cool when I grew up. I mean I had friends in band but it wasn't what it is at this school. When you see football players and cheerleaders change into band uniforms to play in the half-time show, you know you aren't in Kansas

Someone in our house played flute in band...
just saying

The Supermodel is now a baby doctor and needs to study more and do her homework. I am immensely proud of her and all she does. Side note, I am excited about retiring early and having a sugar momma as well. 

Few things here. This was the safest sugar momma picture I could find, don't google sugar momma,  and who knew they had their own dating websites?

As for The Home... It has come to physically no longer meet the needs of our family. You cannot house feral teenage boys in the same room and maintain peace. In other news, the rate at which the garage is collapsing is increasing. Solutions you ask? 

1. Take the small house and acquire a large puppy to make it feel even more cosy. Aunt Bea as she will be known, is not a small puppy anymore and has  bit of a time negotiating her relationship with the wee two. They either are screaming "Bad Beatrice!" or "Good Beatrice!" at any given time while pulling on her tail/ears. They want to run through the house and have her chase them but just up to the millisecond before she catches them

2. Take the cadillac of broken down trucks apart so as to rebuild the engine, transmission, and suspension in the front. I have all the bolts to put it back together, the trick is remembering where they all go. People from med school came to dinner this past week and one of the gentlemen was impressed by the project. He lamented that he wished he knew how to do things like this and was curious how I learned. I assume it will be a lot like med school. Learn to take apart the cadaver and eventually try to put a working human back together in surgery. I am thinking taking the truck apart will be the considerably easier step. It is my broken down truck and I love it but it is now in the way of number 3

What my truck roughly looks like. More rickshaw that truck really

3. Make plans to fix garage and finish basement to add bedrooms, bathrooms and, a less pubescent smelling place to watch movies down there as a family. This has been a 5 month process to get it all started. Don't let me confuse you here. It hasn't started yet. Being a grown up is the worst. Also, even if they wanted to start, they couldn't there is no way to attach wheels to the truck to move it right now...

4. The plague upon our home. I write to you from the quarantine. El Fox and I have fevers and Gastrointestinal Distress. Also, the dino was not allowed at school Friday due to a week of general malaise. He did not want to play on the playground, fine. But, when he didn't want snacks, they knew that something was wrong. If general malaise got me sent home from work, I would never be there. The trick is that I always want snacks. I guess that is why I continue to work the salt mines.