Updates from The Home

General updates from The Home:

We have completed our next DIY project at home. We now have a dark blue bedroom. The Supermodel and I disagree on the color or at least how to rename it. She thinks of it as her cave of solitude and sleepy time. I call it Dementor Black. This may be why I don't work at Crayola.

This is actually really close to our bedroom color.
Except instead of the Dementor Sucking Your Face/Soul,
he is your new Sandman singing 1950's doo wop and
providing you with pleasant dreams

At the pharmacy yesterday there was some debate with our friend the Druggist, some confusion, and finally some wonderment. It may be possible that in the month of January, nobody in our house got sick. I think what really happened is that we have finally lost our memory. 

Other than the fact that she is a girl and looks nothing like Clarke Gable,
This is how I see our  Pharmacist

You got the update on AARP. Mr. Fabulous is now in month two with the new skateboard and has yet to require stitches. That is a win in my book

None of this has happened or rather we haven't heard about it.

The Fox aka The Shadow aka Stay Puft is a handful. Also, I had to have another spend the night party with her last night. Who sleeps transversely across their bed on the pillows while someone is trying to use one of them? She does! It was a rough night and I hope I remember to pick her up at school this afternoon. 

The Baby? Still kind of boring. Growing and has learned a trick or two. He can pull up really well. Especially on the back of your legs if you are trying to wash dishes. Such a helper. He waves now and may or may not have told his Mimi buh-bye this past weekend. He is definitely getting more interesting but isn't wowing the judges on technical merit. 

Add legs and more slime coming from the nose.

The Supermodel? Sick. Had to go to a doctor sick. I tried to explain it to Mr. Fabulous that if she or I go to the doctor then, it is bad. Did this stop her from sucking the joy out of our bedroom walls with her paint choice? Nope. Upside, we had a night out with Sounds like Eva. It was an odd event supporting the Rape Crisis Center. Odd things went on that this thing (contortionists performing for example) but it was fun. This was followed by she and I meeting one of my best friends at the darkest seediest bars I have ever been in (the nick). A good time was had by all. 

Can't tell is this is a great music venue or a great place to sleep in?
Yeah me neither.

Life is going pretty well. Look forward to news over the next month or two as I train to ride a child's toy bicycle 100 miles. We all know how well these things turn out.

 

Winter Dance Pt 2

Sorry for the delay. Dance went well. Afterparty went well. I will say however that when I picked him up from the dance to drive him to the afterparty he had a smell about him. Not boy stink. Not Malibu rum and diet rite. It was minty. Spearmint and Peppermint. I think he chewed every stick of gum he could find and drank a bottle of mouth wash.

AARP aka Wilson aka Minty Fresh. He is destined to be the next Q-Tip or Mike D

It was planned as and supposed to be his first kiss. Spoiler alert, it didn't happen. Neither he nor she ate all night so there breath wouldn't stink. Alas a crowded gymnasium wasn't as romantic as a row boat with a hermit crab directing a symphonic chorus of frogs and a lovable squawking seagull. They were both okay with it from what I can tell but how cute is that? When I picked him up from the afterparty, you could tell he was bummed. Apparently his friends were all egging him on and watching from the sidelines. Whats life without friends huh? So as a consolation, in the car he started emptying his pockets. He hadn't eaten all night but he has been paying attention to my example and had filled his pockets to the brim with snacks for later. We ate cookies and chatted on the way home. I love AARP.

I have no idea what this show is. Thank you Google image search.
But I think she is my spirit animal

Yesterday he turned teenager. There was cake and tacos. Normal so far. Then he opened his present. He got a phone. I tried to explain to him that it would be a bigger adjustment for his mother and I than him. I think I was just trying to make myself feel better. He had it for about 30 seconds before the notifications started coming in. Air raid sirens signaling the english that the germans were crossing the english channel couldn't compete for the veracity and speed that he was getting messages. It really feels WWII-ish. I feel like the Americans reluctantly wading into war. I am not and would never compare my son getting a phone to Pearl Harbor. I am merely saying that I am entering a struggle that will last the next four to five years.

"Why are we so popular? (and athletic?)"

Winter Dance pt1

Liveblogging from the middle school parking lot. AARP is well dressed, well groomed and well... awkwardly pre-teen. Tonight is a big night. Big date with his lady friend and they have been in private negotiations for months concerning this dance. He was required to dress and look like any number of men found in Taylor Swift's videos.

AARP's Doppelgänger #1 Oh look and his lady friend creeped into the shot

Why are we in the parking lot you ask? Corsage emergency. That is a thing. The Supermodel forgot to grab it and he is oblivious to the world (perhaps its not too early to discuss hearing aids). A second round trip was required and The Supermodel is now prowling the dance floor as I type this trying to get it to the stylish pensioner in the power tie.

How they picture the dance. No way The Supermodel finds him

More realistic but hey, good news for lady friend.
She will get a wrist full of roses.
(Middle School version of putting a ring on it)

There were rumors and speculation swarming in the run up to this evening. Now, knowing the small size of my readership and your discretion, I trust you not to embarrass him (more than I already have). They are adorable and demure and well awkward.

Doppelgänger #2 and this one even has the Frat-tasitc Swoopy Hair!

There were discussions of his mother and I chaperoning the after party that a local church throws. Those plans have been tabled for one year so as that we can embarrass two birds with one stone.

More plans in the run up to 13 going on 87 but for now we will just have to wait and see how it goes. Good news. The corsage made it to the boy. More later...