I have a hoof disease

My ailment is not bovine in nature

It has long been suggested that Stay Puft's school's name is Hand in Paw. It has now been changed to hand in hoof. Everyone's favorite marshmallow baby came home a week ago with Hand Foot and Mouth Disease which was immediately confused with foot and mouth which is a fatal virus which effects cloven animals. It was no big deal with her as nothing is. She was pretty laid back about the whole thing. Some spots on her hands and feet. A couple of cold sores on her tongue. She didn't want OJ but other than that she was solid. Then, the other shoe dropped....

I got it.

I was too busy to keep my reservation at the sanatorium

Apparently this works like chicken pox. You get it once and are good. Also like chicken pox, it is much much worse in adults. I can vouch for this. Last Thursday, back ache and sore and generally felt as thought I had been hit by a truck then it backed up just to make sure I was flat enough. By the time class was over at ten I had a low grade fever of about 102 and change. I spend the day in bed. Was forced to visit a doctor that evening to rule out flu. I wasn't. He suggested it was flu-like. I had back to back meetings Friday and a preview day for high school kids Saturday then attended the Ole Miss - Alabama Game that night. After those two days I had crashed again. My voice was gone due to the razor blades and broken glass I had been eating for the previous two days. I don't recommend that diet but it was effective. I had no appetite. Apparently cold sores in the mouth and throat are a part of my hoof disease. 

All better now other than throat herpes or whatever is attacking my throat. It looks like the supermodel is waking up in the middle of the night to take care of the baby and then sneaking back into our room and punching me in the throat. I say it looks like that because surely that isn't what is going on. Is it? Pregnant women are prone to blame their perfect husband's for being a vector for their parasites. Just like their parasites can be born and be a vector for cow diseases for perfect husbands . Guess its fair but I won't hit Stay Puft in the throat in the middle of the night. That makes me better than the supermodel.