My one rule about exercising

I have only one rule. Never sign up for a race. Well apparently, I have been signed up for another event or two. I am excited about both but the Krispy Kreme run sounds much less daunting. So, there is a super fancy (overpriced or maybe I am underpaid) bicycle company called Rapha. Apparently, they are now giving out merit badges. Being an Eagle Scout I love me some badges. The rub is this, I have to ride 500km over 8 days between the 23 and the 31 on a human powered bicycle (not on the handlebars while someone else peddles. Looked into that). I think that is 8 days. I was totally down for this until I did the conversion. Apparently 500km isn't from here to Krispy Kreme and back. It is more like from here to the Krispy Kreme in China and back. Alas, I have been signed up for it and thus will participate. I don't know how to train to ride 38.875 miles a day for over a week so I am designing my own training plan.

1. Buy warm Clothes. Why in the world is this in winter. I am inside right now and my toes are cold. My cycling shoes have vented toes. I am going to need shoecovers and warm jackets.
2. Exercise as little as possible. I would think that 500km on a bike would cover me for the year on exercise. My future cardiologist would appreciate me exercising but come on. So, since Dr. Spaceman doesn't have a say so yet, I am saying that this will cover me for December and plan to be as still as possible until the 24.
3. Build up energy reserves. I am not dieting my way through the holidays so you can forget it!

muffin tops rides again!

4. Bring Bike out of hiding. Since the Passing on the Left Running Club (PoLR Club?) has formed and the baby born, I have biked less. Perhaps this will get me back in the habit. I kind of miss it.
5. Buy more stretchy clothes. No one looks sillier than a fat guy in spandex. Ask me how I know. I have always said they should publish a weight limit in the bike clothes. I am not huge but big enough that they don't stock my size. Oh how I don't look forward to being this cold.

Ride to Redemption?
Ride to Lunch maybe. 

So in short, I am screwed. If you thought throwing up rainbows and my shoes after a half marathon was bad stick around. By new years day I will be filled with sadness and regret and my resolution will be to hunt down the person who has signed me up and then collapse because the hunting will wear me out. All for a merit badge.