Shameless Plug

The boys are digging scouts but we are 4 kids strong and so the boys are selling as many tickets to their pancake breakfast as they can to be able to go to the summer campouts. I don't care if you don't live here. It is 6 bucks and if you can't come, they will give your ticket to a police officer, fireman, priest. Whatever you want.

Mr. Fabulous has fallen into line with his Aunt, the mafioso, and 2Pop and is selling to brick walls at this point I think. I couldn't sell to save my life. I am awful at it. Mr. Fabulous went to one house and busted up in a bible study. As with his role models, I don't want to know their methods.

I digress, help the boys out if you can and expect this post every spring. Every silly campout equals equally silly blogging. You are helping them help me to help you with blog posts. Its for the kids.

Noah has nothing on AARP

I Have to get this hat.

We recapped in the car this morning AARP's first three campouts.
1. Rain and a tent
2. Rain and 20 miles of Backpacking
3. Rain and no tent and little food.

He is making the Donner Party look bad. Also, he won't know what to do if the sun shines and he sleeps in a tent.

First night for him? Showed up and it was raining. Had to build a shelter to stay damp. Dry never factored into our weekend. He then had to snack on whatever he brought. His francophile Latina mother has made an impression on him. A block of cheese and tortillas were his rations. That night it rained less.

I went to check on the 11 Wilderness Survival young men in the morning and they were already reengineering their shelter. They had taken their plastic sheeting off and were eating/drying out and generally make a ton of noise and racket. I then made two observations. 1. There was my son AARP still sleeping in the shelter that was coming down around him. 2. The lack of cleanliness let an opossum to their camp the night before and he was perched about 10 feet up in a tree. He was scared they would eat him. He was right to be scared. Also, poor opossum couldn't get down and didn't until the next night.

Night two was worse. New shelter was much worse than number one and it POURED rain on them. I was going to get up and go check but didn't. No reason. Just didn't.

AARP's spirit animal. This was where he slept more or less but with more standing water.

The campsites we stayed in were muddy and cold and muddy but we all had a nice time. Mr. Fabulous won a trinket for having the best attitude and always offering to jump in and help. No one was more surprised that me. Also AARP relayed to me this morning that it was true and he was well behaved and respectful to the older scouts running his Camping 101 program and helping his patrol learn the ropes. Also, he did everyones dishes all weekend including scrubbing pots and pans. I tried to get him to help at home last night but it is apparently not the same thing.

Big campfire on Saturday night was closed out with the retirement of American Flags that people have dropped off with the troop. Boy Scouts are one of only a few groups who destroy flags and the boys really were respectful and got it. That was nice. They then went back and tore into some nachos the adults made for them. What pairs well with patriotism? Pasteurized Cheese Product by the gallon.

God Bless America. 

Oh the rabbit you ask? I was put in charge of cooking it over charcoal because in years past they wilderness survival campers undercooked in out of starvation. Also, it was delicious. the adults nabbed one for us and that poor thing was picked clean. 12 rabbits were sacrificed. I hope that I can get the pictures for you, It was graphic.

Look, they are spooning

Lots of quoting this classic American folk tale

All is well that ends well and our belongings are dripping dry in the basement that was flooded when we got home (ask me how excited about that I was). Laundry is done. Medicine has been doled out. Mr. Fabulous' feet are swollen and blistered due to playing in puddles in wet socks and shoes all weekend.

Lil Reezy and My Shadow? The supermodel told me not to complain and that I had better say I enjoyed my weekend because I am never going camping and leaving her again. Spoiler Alert? There is a family camp out this fall and The Home is going on the road.

The only way the Supermodel will camp. Nice Yurt.

Scouting in the Rain

It is said that when it rains on scout trips that dads get wet and boys have a great time. We shall see about that!

both boys have been introduced to scouting now. AARP will be going on his third campout this weekend. The first it was cold then rained. The second it rained then backpacked 20 miles. This time? Rain and Wilderness Survival. That happens this weekend. Mr. Fabulous will be participating in the camping 101 course at the same time. Now, not to be undone he raised his hand at the meeting and asked, "What if they new scouts want to do wilderness survival instead?" The scoutmaster suggested that the new scouts do 101 and learn the basics etc. Not to be outdone Mr. Fabulous looks at him and says, "So, it is a possibility." No wonder he gets in trouble at school.

Shelters built by scouts

AARP is allowed to take one shoebox to camp with this weekend. He will be given no food. No tent. No help. I have offered to talk to him about it or help but he is not interested. He was supposed to be packed and take it to the meeting last night to have it checked out and edited. He did not remember to do that. He has to pack food for Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday. 

A solid choice of items to help make the weekend comfortable

What AARP has in his mind to take. 

To be honest i am wildly jealous and want to do this so bad and show off. I would have a shelter that would make me question coming home. I picture furniture and running water and maybe a coconut radio. We will see what he come up with. I can't see a version of this where he doesn't sleep in a puddle. 

This was my original thought but have got bigger plans now

So, AARP will be wet and have his engineering skills tested while Mr. Fabulous assumes he knows everything and people attempt to teach him. I plan on taking notes.

Welcome to my weekend. I can't wait honestly.

 Spoiler Alert! I know secrets about this trip that will make it juicier. We are providing ingredients for dinner on Saturday for Wilderness Survival. What ingredients? Whole. Stinking. Skinned. Raw. Rabbits. Stay tuned for how that turns out Mr. Easter Bunny!

Freeeedom!!!!

So I was confused for a Baptist preacher yesterday. Most of you know me well enough to be laughing and shaking your head at this point. I will give you a minute.

This is the SuperModel and I are enjoying our biannual Kid Free Weekend! I am already looking forward to the next one in 2017. Details thus far?

We drove across the ham for an hour to get to MiMi and 2Pop's house to leave the hoard. There were instructions and details and things but I stood to the side eating potato salad then sneaking out without saying goodbye.

Some say that I left as quickly as I can
and that I never look back after leaving my kids.
All I know is I was free

The three hour drive to the land of hotty and toddy felt like the blink of an eye due to no kids. We chatted and laughed and crossed our legs in want of a potty in the land of no potties that is the new I22. Seriously there are no exits in Alabama. I digress.

Stopped off and saw the Bride and Groom for a hot minute then came to Noonanza to play at the petting zoo that is there homestead and with Stuben The Backup, he is the Supermodels backup. Saturday we went and had farm fresh breakfast and sleepy southern town outside of Oxford. I think the food was all local due to no paved roads into or out of town and so that is the only option.

A farm is just a farm till you add these guys yelling at you. Then it sounds like a zoo.

Then we were off to the renewal of vows I was officiating. It was a bit odd due to the fact that it was at the crossroads in the Delta of MS where Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil for the ability to play the guitar and sing the blues. Its hard to work that into a ceremony and I did not. The supermodel left her bag 2 hours away at Noonanza and had to borrow some 14 year olds dress and heels. She rocked them too. Dang her SuperModel abilities to make anything work.

Why'd you sell your soul to the devil? Well I wasn't using it. 

Highlights included: not ruining the ceremony, the large group of women cane poll fishing for catfish during the ceremony on a pier, seeing The Siren (my absolute most favorite singer/smoking hot biologist/gamer/dreamboat captain), and seeing our friends be happy and about the ceremony.  Post ceremony was the Juke Joint Festival in the Delta town of Clarksdale. Blues music, crawfish, polish sausage, bbq nachos, local beer, some bourbon, and wait this list is just food and drinks. I think we just wandered around and ate come to think about it. Again if you know me, you know this was glorious.



A good nights sleep and now louging around in the sunshine being cerenaded by the peacocks and turkeys.

Children

Lil Reezy is not quite walking. His growth has slowed down a bit as he is now mostly working on developing a personality. The Fox is growing up and will be a precocious 3 in a couple of weeks. Her favorite songs as of right now are Thunderstruck by AC/DC and Eleanor Rigby. Classy girl. Mr. Fabulous is starting boy scouts this week and is thrilled. AARP is a heart breaker and has upset his mother by doing just that. Spill the Juicy Details you say? Never. Needless to say he was on the market for a few minutes before pledging his love to another girl AND changing the background on his phone. That is the new Facebook official I think. 

Things are about the same around here. 

Bedding Down

I am trying to turn over a new leaf and not say bad things about my kids or the effects they have on my life. We will see how this goes.

Lil Reezy is taking longer to go down at night. This means we get home around 5:30 and he eats a snack and then goes and gets into my bed with my wife and they snuggle for an hour. Lucky Duck. He may or may not go to sleep during this hour.

Also not a great bed fellow

I meanwhile feed the other three and then take my turn of laying with El Fox (Spanish for the Fox) for an hour. I fall asleep. She doesn't.  If this happens, by 7:30 the Supermodel is in with the Fox trying to get her down. I then turn to boys to get them down by 8:30. Obviously they have been coddled and homework has been double checked and we have had meaningful quality time together.

I have still NEVER seen my daughter fall asleep outside of the car

In the event that both the Fox and I fell asleep, Supermodel puts down boys and then comes and wakes me up and sends me to my bed after moving Lil Reezy. Apparently if I go to sleep at 7 and wake up at 8:30, I am confused and not as pleasant as I should be.

I am not sure this is how it is done everywhere else. For someone getting so much sleep I am very very tired.

Okay last time. "This is George.
George is a good little monkey, but always very curious..."