Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Annual rant from a curmudgeon

I heart Thanksgiving.

let me count the ways.
1. All that is asked of you is to be thankful (see web link for 26 empirical reasons)
2. If you feel up to it, cook a bit to share with family and friends
3. Eat

Geez if we can't to this as a country we really are screwed. Granted the history of the holiday is a bit off and we did trade small pox for land but lets not let the truth get in the way of a good holiday.


What I don't like? The overreach of other holidays. If I lose Halloween next I will stop participating in our society completely. I have stopped going into major retail stores at this point due to the music and decorations. The problem is that the Supermodel has as well. We are hungry. Why doesn't Publix deliver? We may have to pretend to be elderly and incapacitated and ask for meals on wheels.

I digress. Keep your Santa off my Turkey! Also, this season can be a difficult time around the dinner table due to the differences in polical/social outlooks. I have turned to Vox for a lot of my news lately. They have a handy guide to dealing with these discussions. If you plan on seeing me for dinner or drinks during the holiday season, I ask that you read this brief primer.

derelict in my duties

I said duty. Tee Hee

No, I have not written of late. Yes, I have too many people living in my house and too many needy students. But, I have some time so here we go!

To catch you up on my life, I have been exercising like I said I would since the last post and I feel better but man, exercising still stinks. I ran a 10K instead of the 5K. It went well. No it was not a personal best for me but it was a lovely day and I got to run with the Ging.

The Supermodel has been training as well. 
Also, the supermodel and I with the smaller pair went to OleMiss for Halloween and the Auburn Game. I miss that town and my friends who live there. I got to see all the inhabitants of Noonanza, quadrupeds and bipeds alike. The Shadow, aka Stay Puft, is so far up my rear end at this point that I can tell when she sneezes before she does. Anyway, The Shadow made friends with the turkeys until they started following her. I have to admit that if a bird as tall as me started following me and gobbling at me I would relish Thanksgiving as well.
At first she and the turkey's were working on their secret handshake
Now she is working on inventing a secret cranberry sauce

Also, See Video

Speaking of murdering delicious animals...
P-Daddy took the older progeny and me to a deer hunting facility. A friend of his purchased 1500 acres and put a big fence around it. Now, I understand that we hunt white tailed deer because they are overpopulated. I understand that we regulate it and have a season so that we don't over hunt them. I am a biologist interested in what affects populations, I get this (Also, i wrote this "effects" and was correctd. If you need to see the Isthmus Grammar Czar, feel free to go to Helen Waite). What I fail to make heads or tails of is why we then fence them in and breed them to make more. We then know all of them and name them and hunt them inside this fence. Have you seen the trailer for the new Jurassic Park? I imagine big deer and Jeff Goldblum being picked off a toilet. Either way I say that old white men with time and money are asking for it.

Especially when you start tinkering then stop tinkering for a potty break.
Doesn't end well. 
I should not complain as we got to go and look at deer. We did not kill any. Why? Not because it would be too graphic for the boys to see. Not because it wasn't season. It was youth hunt weekend. Why then? Because we shot our little .22 during the day before we went out. I will say this. The safest place in those woods would have been right next to the deer. Also, deer hunting is exhausting.

I don't know how it wears on you but, it does. I took Wilson and AbFab to the tree stand that night. It was a pod type thing with a door that closed. It was warm inside and had windows all the way around. Almost immediately Wilson fell asleep. The walk out and the ladder must have just tuckered that poor boy out. Also, Twelve. Twelve is a magic number that includes growing and eating. No time for thinking at this age. Too busy growing and eating. After Wilson went down, AbFab got out of his seat and laid down behind his and his brothers seat and tried to go to sleep. In a hunter/gatherer society these two better marry well and become a lot more keen on being vegetarian. As dusk set and deer began to come into the field, I roused them and they were excited until Wilson fell back asleep. We counted up the hours from a few weeks ago and he slept 16 of 24 hours one Saturday. His mother was so proud.
Wilson really got close to the deer.

Their favorite part of the Boy Stuff Weekend? Our host, upon our arrival, immediately handed over the keys to a bright yellow jeep. The boys asked when they got there if they could ride a four-wheeler. He said that it wasn't working but that they could drive the Jeep. I will now live 10 less years. Spend time with me now because at 75 I will run out of years. If you know the boys you will assume that Wilson was conscientious and a cautious driver. He was. I would let him chauffeur me around town any day (as long as it was at 20 miles per hour or lower). He didn't fall asleep on me and he did really quite well. Teaching him to drive will be okay.

As for AbFab.... He will never be allowed to drive. Ever. You are welcome. Throttle control? Nope. Distracted Driving? Check. Visions of Grandeur? You have no idea. Granted he couldn't see over the steering wheel and so I give him some leeway still you shouldn't try and pull a four wheel drift 1. in a jeep 2. going 20 miles an hour 3. with me in the dang car! He thinks he is Ken Block. We have some work to do over the next 5 years or else he will have to ride a skateboard for the rest of his life.
"Padre you never trust me.
Once you flip it back over can I get another turn?"