update from icepocalypse

its 4:30. I just got home. All of my house is under one roof again. General wrap up of day?
Walk/Hitchhike to Mimi.

Drive Mimi home in her car.

Get Supermodel and the Ginger, her coworker and head to wander up and down the interstate handing out food, meds, water etc. Almost immediatly we found a couple who had left the hospital trying to get home the day before and had sheltered at walmart and were back in their car. He was seziure prone and she had the procedure and both of them had no meds... Supermodel/humanitarian brought them to our house and put them down for a nap. Ginger Lauren and I continued to hand out food and water to cars. The big trucks kept giving me more to hand out. I had my enormous backpacking back pack. I had a net positive amount of water by the time I got home hours later. Including a gallon jug that one driver handed me.

Need help? My 8month
preggers wife would love
to help

 Anyway, several miles and exits further north we left to get to a pair of pharmacies where our boarders meds could be acquired. We then hoofed it back the 3 miles to the house. I walked back to their car to drive it to our house for them but it had been hit by a tractor trailer and was still attached. I walked back and gave the news then drove them to the car so they could deal with it and sent them on their way.

You ever seen one of these jackknife? Not since Hoth! Also, we were short on Tauntauns

Finally I got to go and pick up my favorite daughter and offered shelter to all of her teachers if they couldn't get home. Got the fox all settled in and took the Ginger to get her car in our AWD SUV. Needless to say i am pooped. All in all i walked to about 4 kabillion-zillion miles according to my feet. Realisticly it is closer to 20-25 in the last 24 hours. Boy Scouts was a long time ago but I still want to help and backpack silly distances?? I say it was brainwashing.

Stinking boys scouts and their stinking merit badge based personality modification program

Unrelated, this totally happened

Morning Day Two

I awake in The Home which at this stage is Mini-Shelter. I can hear the 4 pre-teens waking up. The adults are still asleep and I am trying to work out a rescue plan for Stay Puft and my mother. I had to leave my daughter at her school last night. I feel AWFUL. Also, I didn't force my mother to walk home with me when I went to her place of employ to pick up the supermodels coworker. She also refused to sleep in the nursing schools simulation lab because she would have to snuggle with a manequin. Hey, at least they don't snore or hog the covers.

Mothers new roomate

Roads are garbage. Abandoned vehicles everywhere. I have decided that Birmingham would not survive a zombie appacolypse. Mostly, because people never keep their phones charged or gas in their cars or refuse to leave said cars when people offer to get them to shelters. Birmingham might as well be call New Zombieville.

Abandon hope all ye who live in Birmingham

I tried to do all I could. At the end of the night I had a couch and a recliner someone could have slept on and didn't and I feel a bit guilty. If anyone within 5 miles of my house had to sleep in their car, I will die feeling guilty. Stupid boy scout training.

My plan now is to make a thermos of hot chocolate, pack up more hats and scarves etc and go get my mother and help anyone who needs it along the way. People at their core are good. I was out all day yesterday and didn't hear anyone blame the president or the republican party so that is something. I did read people complain about the meteorologist who are supposed to read their tea leaves and predict the future daily without fail. Yes they missed this. They seem to catch most of them though. Reading the local celebrity weather guy, the last time they missed one was 1982. Please people don't take your frustrations out on anyone.

Our Weather Forecaster is Waaaay better than this. give em some credit

Wish me luck...

Off to pick up Mimi.

SNOWMAGGEDON!!!

or however you spell that....

well that got out of hand quickly. Cars in ditches. Wailing and Gnashing of teeth. Stay-Puft is stuck at school and may have to spend the night. The swollen supermodel made two walking trips to the elementary school to pick up ours +1. We have several others in route to our house/headquarters.

I spent a couple hours out pushing cars and helping people who were stuck. This included not one but two stuck firetrucks. Maybe i was rash before. Glad I have my milk sandwiches.

Headed to get my people from the wilds of Birmingham

Schools In for Spring

So the students came back... No matter how hard we try to hide campus, they always find the way back. Classes resumed and I was am totally overwhelmed. I am teaching two classes for the first time and am feeling a bit behind after day one.

Basically me

Stay-Puft and the boys are progressing in life quite nicely. We still don't have a date for the winter dance as our first choice told us no. Wilson wasn't too heart broken. Grades are what we expect and so there is little to report. Stay-Puft is in her new classroom at hand in paw and seems to be getting along just fine although we do have a parent teacher conference. I am just happy its not because she is interacting with her peers using her mouth. She isn't a biter. That is nice.



This is nothing to compared to what happened while I was writing this. It has begun to snow. What this means in Alabama... cue the Milk Sandwiches. What else will you do with all that milk and bread you bought. This means that schools will be shut down. The national guard will be mobilized. Cats and Dogs getting along. So without any adeiu I give you a photographic guide to the rest of my day:

My new goal for a mini-van. This is Totally Necessary. 

Milk Sandwiches!!!! ooo or frech toast if the chickens still lay.

My sons in T- 10 minutes

Updates from The Home©

It is super comfy don't judge me

Big Gurl Bed update. I believe Stay Puft doesn't love her bed. She continues to sleep on the floor by the door that we leave out of. She goes to her sound machine, turns on Mozart and cries for about 5 minutes until she falls asleep. We felt bad for her and put down a pallet of sorts. She has been sleeping on a quilt that my dear cousin made for her.

Since this fire seem to be simmering down to something we could handle, I decided to throw gasoline on it by taking away her pacifier. Why? She doesn't need it. That's why. Also, I like to hear her scream. It lets me know she is alive.

Update on Mr Fabulous and Wilson... They continue to grow. The supermodel is convinced that Wilson has grown 6 inches since matriculating into middle school. This may be true but he is still an awkward puppy that is all arms and legs and runs into things. Mr Fabulous continues to own the elementary school but has stopped referring to himself as awesome so, that is a plus.

Hound update: We are in the third trimester. My cravings have increased. I would kill for someone to invent a Thai/Indian Buffet this morning so that I could put it out of business at lunch... every day. I digress. The Supermodel is getting... full figured (?) on schedule. The boy seems to be healthy according to the OBwanGynobi. Our medical adviser also told us that if we missed a few appointments it would be fine. Apparently in addition to being a Russian Supermodel, my benevolent overlord is also great at making healthy babies and being pregnant. So, if you need a baby and have no means of your own, for the right price I will offer her womb (and me putting up with her placenta clouded brain).

For the love of Ganesh! Is this too much to ask for? I made it big so you would be as hungry as me!

I woke up today well rested

Stay Puft's latest Doppelganger

The first night in big gurl bed was hit or miss. She was a bit needy but last night went off without a hitch....for most of us.... well for me really. I slept fabulously. I will say that I had to replace the divot in the bed where she escaped to sleep on the floor by door that leads to my bedroom. But, this was before I went to bed and she took her pillow with her to sleep over there and didn't cry. In fact, she turned on her sound machine to play classical music. She is classy when she sleeps on the floor. I think she just doesn't like her mattress. So, yeah, we had to do that twice. The second time she was laid across a giant stuffed fox passed out like a college freshman on the first soft thing she fell onto. She slept great basically and so did I. When I went to bed she was in the bed. When I woke up and went to get her, I may or may not have hit her with the door she was sleeping behind. My bad.

How can referencing this get you in trouble. It's so cute.

On a different note, the Russian supermodel has begun to use her pregnancy as an excuse of late. This is perfectly okay with me and I am not complaining chiefly because of the fact that she looks pregnant. However, her rotund belly baby bump and lack of sun exposure are quite the pairing. I may or may not have told her last night that it was so pale and rotund that I wanted to bathe it in butter milk and show her at the county fair. I am surprised I didn't have to sleep on the floor.

The L Tarpley Vision

I could see why you would think this is appealing but still... 

Polar Vortex

3/5s of my family has been knocked down due to disease. We are fighting through it but between that and the cold weather, I have several excuses to lie in bed or in front of the fire and not to be at work. That and I am teaching online for the first time which means that I did all this work getting ready for it and now I just sit back and answer questions.

Makes keeping up with them easier

The preparations for The Hound are getting exciting. Apparently you have to do more than put an old towel in a cardboard box. Stay Puft has decided to participate in this prepatory phase by waking up in the middle of the room. I don't know how she got there this morning. She certainly didn't miracle herself out there to paraphrase Full Metal Jacket. Now not only is she mobile, she refuses to be contained. If she learns how to open doors then we are moving to a more disney approved method of babysitting...

Now we are switching to a Big Gurl bed as early as tonight. I will try and let you know how that goes. So now we need a bed, a minivan bus, and an appointment at the hospital. I am sure we can get all that taken care of by April. Then I will have a new baby... that is so strange.