Dreams are funny things

Seriously scared me into
my 30's

Let me start by saying that I have no idea what prompted this dream. No strange bed time food. No bizarre evening. I know that my stream of consciousness when I am awake is exciting but who knew that it could be just as fun asleep.

I used to have reoccuring dreams about the giant monsters from The Muppet Show. From childhood well into adulthood. Last night was much more fun.

I have no idea what happened in most of the dream but prior to waking up it was myself with a large band on a quite large stage. Picture Sydney Opera House. The band was made entirely of people of Indian descent. The bass player was killing it but also had a blond wig over his hair. More like perched on his head. You could still see his black hair. The wig was similar to Andy Warhol's hair a la a bad Photoshop. I don't want to offend anyone so I won't attempt an artistic representation. (plus I tried and it wasn't very good)

What I want my mornings to be like

We were really doing it on stage and then it came time for my conga/bongo/djembe solo. There was about a 20 foot row of drums lined up single file. As I started to play them, quite well I might add, an orangutan came onto stage and followed me as I went down the line playing them. I would play the drum and move on and he would take over the drum I had been playing. The problem I have now that I am awake was that he was better than me. In the dream it was amazing. I think this may be some residual King Louis and Every Which Way But Loose jealousy.

Clyde totally has the
better smile

Either way, we had this incredible Tito Puente timbale/conga groove and I was loving it. Then it was overshadowed by my alarm playing the hook from Outkast's song  SpottieOttieDopaliscious which is my alarm clock. Which is labeled as ALARM! in my phone because it reminds me of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. 

Top That! My subconscious is awesome and if you want to borrow it you can. Please see my dreams playlist below:

Tito Puente

Alarm

SpottieOttieDopalisious

clarification

No, the supermodel is not having quadruplets. She would have shot me by now. I just can't believe that I will have four children. That is crazy talk. That is all

given without comment but much trepidation

Parasitism

Update from The Home. 

Stay Puft Learns to Cook

It is never a dull moment. Stay Puft has discovered play kitchens and is the Julia Child of her new school. Every time I go to pick her up she has a saute pan in one and and spatula in the other. Am I the only person who has family member who refer to that kitchen utensil as a "Spatular"? I digress. Wilson has attended his first middle school dance. He was relieved to learn that he didn't have to dance with a girl but let me know that the rumor was that he would have to at the next dance. I wait with baited breath. 

Senor Toilet is wonderful and has arrived at a very sweet age, when he isn't tired, or being goaded on by his brother. School is back in session for me as well and things around here are as comfortable as gravy on a biscuit. They were. Things have taken a turn and I have to ask for your prayers. 

I had to take the supermodel to the hospital today and missed half a day of work. She apparently is harboring a parasite. We aren't quite sure how she contracted it or where but the doctor seems to think that the supermodel will be okay so, that is good news. Bad news is that she has to carry it around and deal with the side effects for another 9 months. 

A Doppelgänger for the parasite's 
current developmental state

We went and had it imaged and sure enough there is something living inside her and sapping her of her nutrients and will to live. I will include a rough estimate of what it looks like at this point.

The doctor assured us that at some point around the beginning of April that this Abdominal Remora will turn my wife's insides "a loose" and come on out. 

We are anxiously awaiting that day and are excited to see what the thing looks like fully developed. At some point I hope to figure out this mode of transmission. 

The imaging tech - "Congrats! It's a gummy bear"