getting back to minivans

I admit that I like to want. I enjoy the wanting and the researching and the picking out. I will take months or years to make what I consider are big decisions. The wanting is the fun part for me. I dig and I research and I can tell you everything you want to know about all the ins and outs and find you the exact thing that matches my needs or yours. I wish I could get paid to be a purchasing advisior. I know this isn't a real title but that + professional organizer would be my ideal job.

I digress. Minivans. I have the brand and year and mileage worked out for what we will be getting but then I get to dream big and plan for if I win the lottery and can make my very logical and pragmatic self slurge a bit and do what I really want. Case in point: the minivan. I want one of two things. 1. Stark, Pragmatic, Industrial. I want a van that once the kids are out, you could take a hose to the inside. Current front runner for this, next years Ford Transit Connect Wagon.

Sure you guys can drink purple grape juice
and eat very sticky things. 

Now all you have to do is add a third row in 2013 and Wah-La (phonetical!). This is a brilliant, utilitarian monster. Caveat, I don't love there is no pass through in row two and only 2 seats in the back.

Swanky version of your Plumbers Van

I have often said that with two kids the best car to buy would be an old Crown Vic cop car. Listen to my reasons before you mock me. 1. and the most important. A divider. Preferably sound proof. 2. the back seats of those cruisers are replaced with one piece plastic seats that if soiled are hose-able. No more cheerios ground into the carpets. 3. The doors and windows are already child proofed. Okay I am out of reasons but go re-read number 1. It sounds glorious. Even the Transit Connect can come with a metal cage with a door to separate the front from the minions back. Parents don't act like this isn't tempting. Non-Parents, trust me. Or rather picture the last time you had to pick your friends up from a "big night out." Drunk adults are basically 4 year-olds. See? Now you want to borrow my van.

 Here is option 2...

And you thought I was ridiculous.
Honda with a German's Nose

I want to go all out and over the top nice and fun and custom and make it my own. I hate the current trend of cars to all look the same. Granted I know they can't help this because of safety requirements but still!
So, Take a normal enough Honda Odyssey and lower it, put dumb (aka harsh riding, high rolling resistance) wheels and tires on it, Graft on the nose from a BMW 3 series, and rip out the dash cluster and replace it with a removable iPad mini. Now was that so hard?

oh now that is just sexy

Yes, I know its dumb and lowers resale value. I know I won't do it but a boy can dream! Leave me alone. Stop judging me. 

The iPad thing is hot. 

The Supermodel gets frustrated because I see no middle ground. I say the middle ground is for people with no vision. Vision of what could happen if you dream big or Vision of what will happen because you have kids and thus will need a hose and industrial cleaners that you have to import from mexico because of our strict EPA regulations.  I won't say which one but one of my sisters once created quite the mess in the floorboard of our parents station wagon. Ask her about it. Dare ya. 

Giving an exam today and trying to get caught up. I mean I like science and all but when you get a bunch of crap data or reactions that refuse to work the way they should you really start to get a bit grumpy pants. I have a lab full of students doing all of this work for me and it never really...works. I don't have the time really to go in and hand hold but it may be about that time.

In other news, the boys are officially done with after-school. They are now old enough and mature enough... no let me rephrase that. One of them, Wilson, is mature enough and will keep Mr. Fabulous within a pretty broad definition of what is acceptable behavior. We hope. I am not abandoning the children. They will be home an hour or maybe two before I get home. I was feeling guilty but once the supermodel explained to me how much money this would save us a month, my guilt evaporated. Amazing what saving money will do to clear your mind.

Also, hot chocolate is the best. I limit my coffee intake but replacing it with hot chocolate has been a most glorious decision. Try it. About 10 AM in the doldrums of your terrible, no good, rotten morning, get up and go make some warm delicious hot chocolate. Day fixed. Your welcome.

Real People Work

Working stinks! okay not it doesn't. I love my work and helping student but dang....

My smartypants kids in bioinformatics are killing it but now i have to challenge them somehow. I think an exam might be a good measure of this.

The boys were at their dad's house in MS this weekend and so, the little lady and I had a morning together shopping. The supermodel came too but wasn't of any concern. This baby has softened me. I can admit that. I love being a dad and cannot wait until we have the money saved up in the bank for a minivan (and the money to make it look like this...)

Not that I am picky.

Live blog - elementary school talent show

We are an hour and 40 minutes into comedy gold. Dance, song, karate demonstrations. Blue wigs, black light rave dances, and a LOT of Taylor Swift angst in 3rd graders. Will try to give play by play.

7:35 Sequins are big this year.

7:40 Little person song and dance.

7:44 Now the Song of Songs!!!!! Apache! YouTube that mess!!! Me and a whole row of black women just jumped up to Dane along.

7:47 when did lip syncing become a talent? Just saying. More apache. This is a lull. Bring back the 1st grader in the sequined suit who nailed gangnam style in the first act.

7:49 our second christmas carol of the night.

Let me pause to say I am here alone. My whole fam came to support Wilson then ditched me. Supermodel is in class. Wilson and señor fabulous have run off to sit with friends. Me and Godzilla are just chillin'. Ps she passed out in act 1. Best dad ever! That row of black women told me I won. Didn't qualify that mess. Not I won the day, a door prize, their respect. I just straight up win. New business cards being printed. Big Cat, Winner.

7:53 synchronized swimming on stage. 6 2nd grade girls. Can't wait for it to start. Lots of build up. 1950's bathing caps and music. Or music is from Mario under water level. Hard to tell. Not synced. Still not bad. One act to go.... Will report back tomorrow hopefully.